Medicine vs. All-time favourite

Bismillahirrahmaanirraheem,

I am writing this post solely to remind myself of why I decided to pursue Medicine.

Just so that I hold on tight to this path,

despite any challenges, surprises, along its way..

insyaALLAH.

The story began almost 5 years ago when I got my SPM Results.

and it did not allow me to pursue medicine here in Malaysia. Therefore, my hopes to become a doctor were almost shattered. I got an offer to do engineering instead. I was confused at that point as I believe that nothing is a coincident. Therefore there must be a reason to why engineering was offered to me. I got really confused on what I should do. 

And then, I came across the advertisement in the newspaper, and apparently, my results suit the qualifications required in Mansoura University, Egypt. After performing the magical Solat Istikharah, I remember only performing it once, after Isyaa.and I already got my answer. No. Not in my dreams. To me, my answers came with a sense of peace and calmness, it was as if I have found my path. and I don't feel worried or sad or curious about the choice, it was as if, I submitted and was ready to face it and journey thru it. Calm and confident. SubhanALLAH.

A lil reminder of how I used to hate the idea of becoming a doctor, beacuse of the workload, and the limited time I'll have to spend to do other fun things. It's as if I'm going to have to work hard throughout my life. Life is short, why not enjoy it??

Then comes another reason to why I decided to journey this path is because I went thru a course, ESQ Leadership Training in particular. and Alhamdulillah I had the opportunity to restate my mission, and that is to return safely to ALLAH SWT with a Sound Heart. sobs. InsyaALLAH.

And I also realised that I'll have to buy myself a ticket to enter Jannah, and in what way may I achieve that?

Then, I realised that I have to really work hard. like to really spend my time to only do the Ibaadaat as submission to ALLAH.One good deed can easily buy you a ticket to Jannah. However, as humans, we have no idea which good deed will ALLAH make a reason to buy that Golden Ticket.

I chose to do Medicine so that I could work hard. because only by working hard can I multiply my good deeds hoping! that ALLAH will count them as  sincere acts and save me from the hellfire. Naudzubillah. :(

So, a note to myself, whenever you think that Medicine or anything else is 'killing' you. Know that ALLAH is watching every action you do. and as long as you're sincere, it's a form of ibaadah. and never forget the Jannah, as that is the only place where you will get to rest,and be happy of course, Eternally.

So please, work hard, be sincere, face every challenge with leaps of faith..

Buying a ticket isnt that easy. so do your best to impress!

sobs.

sobs.sobs.sobs.

I really hope I can. 

ameen, Ya Samee'.

ALLAHU RABBUL 'AALAMEEN.

p/s:
when you feel tired and torn, just close your eyes and imagine the Jannah.your tears, sweat will be paid off one day. more than worth it!

psst:
you might even experience 'syurga sebelum Syurga' if ALLAH Wills it.

My all-time favourite :)

How much I love youuuuu.

Bismillah Walhamdulillah,

Mashary has his tummy full and is sleeping like a baby..It's funny how whenever he's asleep, I feel like I miss him so much that I wanna wake him up..haha.my lil son, may ALLAH Bless you always.

It's been almost a week since Hubby left to commence his studies starting with the Ophthalmology Posting. Hope he's enjoying it!

Of course, ALLAH Has Bestowed upon Mashary and I, Great blessings that we are still able to 'survive' during this separation, so far, ALHAMDULILLAH..
BUT,
nevertheless,
we still miss him dearly..

Not to forget our first anniversary celebrated very simply, with a cake and something really special, our first baby. I will still try to get you a gift anyways, despite knowing that love only is sufficient to make him smile..

Aiman, My Hubby, has been surprising me in so many different ways since our marriage. Not to mention there were also bad surprises (haha) but they were too few to compare to the super good ones.

After marriage I started to see so so sooo many things fall into place.
I remember the thoughts I had at different occasions saying, "oh, no wonder I'm married to him".

At times when I lose my temper, my sanity and when he hugs me tight and reminds me of God.

At times when I get sick and he's okay with a simple cereal and milk (or even biscuits and milo) for breakfast.

At times when I get too excited to cook him something special but turns out to be pretty bad, but he still has his grateful face on.

At times when I forget, and he never ever gets angry.

Those times when he tries his best to understand my crazy hormones,

when even I don't understand them myself.

Those times he suggests something really unexpected when I'm really tired.

Those times when he buys all my favourite food whenever he's away.

Those times when he stays firm on his idea to eliminate my false beliefs, and childish thinking.

Those times he remained calm when the plane was shaking thru the storms.

Those times he compromises, and respects so many opposing ideas.

and recently,
when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Mashary's burping sessions,
bathing and cleaning Mashary every morning,
changing Mashary's gooeeyest nappies right on time,
and singing Mashary's favourite lullaby (the Quran) while putting him to bed.

The list just goes on and on,

Thanks for always being my Hero,

Thanks for being the Best Walid in the world. (I'm sure Mashary will realise this while he is growing up!)

OH ALHAMDULILLAH, 

for I have not seen a better son to his parents, a better husband to his wife, and a better father to his son.

May ALLAH Bless our family with His Boundless Rahmaat,

and may we then be amongst those who fulfills the task of Rahmatan Lil 'aalameen.

Ameen

Our first bundle of joy..

Bismillah Walhamdulillah !!

I have just finished feeding Muhammad Mashary Zidane!! yet another achievement to make him full and sound asleep, for only ALLAH is the Provider for all his needs, our needs..

The birth of this little khalifa brought joy to us all, Alhamdulillah. It was an easy and fast delivery..

on September the 2nd, 2012

2 a.m

I felt the unbearable pangs of contractions..however when I tried to time them, they were not regular, hence not an alarming sign of labour..However the pain was not reduced by lying down, I couldn't go to sleep. I remember my hubby telling me to go to snooze off and the pain would go away, as usual. But this time it wasn't going away!

3a.m

Knocked on Mama's door to tell her bout the pain, however she told me I wasn't in labor cause the contractions were not regular.So I decided to go to the washroom and get ready for bed.but by then I was already bleeding.fresh blood. Mama timed my contractions and they started to become regular..1 every 5 minutes!

4am

Getting ready for the hospital. Alhamdulillah the baby's equipments were all ready and packed. The contraction pain was still bearable at this point. Papa had diarhea so only mama accompanied us to the hospital

5.30 am

Admitted to the labour room. The Midwife tried to measure the cervical opening but she couldn\t do it because there was fresh blood.She was concerned that my history of placenta praevia was still...praevia!!

Then she called the Dr and the Dr ordered to check it anyways. So up to this point the opening was 2cm.

6.45 am

Dr Ani came and burst up my water bag...it wasn\t really that painful..but it was scary..then the contractions started to become a liiiitle unbearable..Dr Ani had to give me pitocin..the name of drug that i would never forget to augment my contractions..and they became..MONSTROUS!!! After some discussion, I decided to take the miracle drug called the epidural..and Alhamdulillah, the pain decreased... :)

8.00 am

The midwife did another check up and I was already open by 8cm..

9.30 am

Our Little Caliph was born, with a slight cry, but then with eyes wandering around.ever so curious to his new surroundings.

Assalamualaika Ya Muhammad Mashary Zidane !!!

Ahlan wasahlan wa Marhaban Bik!

We welcome you with Tahmeed to the One who created you,

and may we become the parents who are the best in comforting you,

and may we become the best in introducing you to the One who Loves you the most,

ALLAHU SUBHANAHU WATAALA,

and may we be the best examples to familiarize you to the Nobleness of,

MUHAMMAD SAW.

Recite the 'Happy Verse'

Bismillah Walhamdulillah..

I am still able to breath the air in, still able to consume food and drinks , still able to get enough sleep, still able to accompany my hubby, still able to read and gain knowledge..oh I just realised that this list goes on and on..mashaALLAH..

in this hardest time..I could still write a list of things I'm thankful for..including moving to our new apartment..soon..:) Alhamdulillah...

Lately I've been worrying a lot!
Hubby's Final Exams,
My own studies and exams,
with anemia and fainting spells,
missed tuition classes and unsatisfactory attendances in class.

and currently
am having Placenta Praevia Type 2..
to travel back to malaysia or not..

Last few days have been very hectic as  we were forced to make decisions despite my need to completely rest in bed..

and I realised how weak I was, how weak we humans are, as we do not even have the strength to decide..I remember just putting my hands up for dua and just 'feeling' the Presence and Greatness of ALLAH.

and reading the Quran just for the sake of submitting, and not gaining anything more than just to feel the submission..

For only that made me feel better..

Alhamdulillah with the help of Hubby and my parents, also The OBGYN Specialists, we were able to come to a decision. However even that decision is doubtful.

and to have so many doubts coming..one after another.. I decided and vowed to just stop worrying and just to recite the happy verse loudly or silently,

"Hasbunallah wa ni'mal wakeel, ni'mal maula wa ni'mannaseer"

For I am unable to for see the future,
I am not capable to predict anything,
I will stop worrying cause I am only Human,
and I submit everything only to You,
because I so know that everything is written,
and everything is for the better, the best!
Just let me know that You are near,
and allow me to feel that everything is under control,
I shall not worry,
and I will be happy.

May the rainbows reveal themselves soon,insyaALLAH..
Ummi, baby and daddy are reciting this ' happy verse',

what about you?

My First Surprise Baby Shower!!

Bismillahirrahmaanirraheem..

This post is soo long overdue.. but I promised myself to write about it no matter what, because it tells a story of celebrating babies, food and most importantly friendship!

Last Friday, I was invited to Beit HK for lunch, Aisyah told me that Najwa was gonna make laksa penang as I was craving for it..So I was more than happy to have lunch with them that day..However my stove was having a few problems of its own that I had to delay our lunch date because Hubby's lunch was not ready yet..Alhamdulillah I managed to prepare a very simple lunch and rushed off to the HKs immediately..Hubby told me several times not to prepare his lunch on that day but I felt guilty leaving him 'lunchless'..hehe..

I had to climb 5 flights of stairs!! i really took my time...one flight at a time, as I just recovered from a fever..I had less energy to literally do anything at a high speed..haha..however that climb was worth it when Najwa opened the door and I saw sooo many girls shouting out 'surprise!!!!'

I was so shocked and was so close to tears..but I became tearless due to too much crying before this..and i thought this is moment to celebrate not to cry over! hahahha...so the tears remained unteared.. :)

There were yummy food served, from laksa penang, to laksam, to deserts like Duta's famous chocolate cake and nutella cupcakes by Hanim, and a kind of oat shortbread by Ihsan..Of course the main menu were prepared by masterchef Najwa Anis and the gang..haha..MashaALLAH..I had soo may choices of food!!! Baby could not have been happier..hahah..

After that Nurul and Aisyah conducted baby shower games..and we all had a good laugh..

Never to forget the decorations beautifully done...by Nuna and the HKs..they were soo creative!!

all in all, I had a good time..
I thank all my friends- those who planned, those who helped, those who came and celebrated, you kno who you are..:)

I thank ALLAH for Loving  me so much as He Showered me with the love of my friends..at times when I count my tears more than my smiles..really only ALLAH Knows my condition at that time and how all of you have brightened my rainy , stormy days...

The love of my life.

Bismillahirrahmaanerraheem,

This post is a lil thank you note to these people, who have literally carried me on their shoulders ( still carrying now even with extra extra pounds, haha )with nothing but smiles on their faces.. and they are :-

My Hubby 

 Thanks for always doing your best thruout our marriage, taking care of me every single day. 

Being my strength and support, baring and complimenting my infinty of weakness.

.Making me laugh even during the hardest times..

I am at every second of my life amazed by how ALLAH Completes me by sending you as my partner.

I love you a million times.

My Parents

Thanks for always striving! to give whatever you have and only the best for me.

I really hope to become as good as the both of you to my children later on.

No one can ever replace your undying and unconditional love towards your children.

Sometimes I feel bad that I may have not been the child that makes you happy today,

but i pray that ALLAH Lift all your sins and Love you just the way you loved me when I was little,

and may He Grant you only the highest level of Jannah!

ameen.

Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah

<3



Our Love Story..

Bismillahirrahmaanirraheem..

So as I have been planning, this post is supposed to be published.. However life is life and you're not living unless unpredictable things come your way..one after another..

However I'm glad everything is under control..Alhamdulillah..Thank You, the Story Writer.

Writing a post about our love story would take days but to simplify it, here's a little something that I wrote while preparing for the big day.. sort of like a summary to how it all started and how it was slowly progressing into marriage,and what I was hoping from the relationship from there on.. hope it tells the story well.. enjoy!!

Ceritakan tentang cita-cita dan cinta,

Dua kisah yang sama,

kerana masa depan itu,

bukan kita yang reka.

cuba rentasi awan,

selami semua lautan,

soalan masih tidak berjawapan,

akal fikiran bukan lagi berperanan.

Resah melanda jiwa,

dada berombak tanda curiga,

kemana harus diberitahu,

rasa hati yang ingin mengerti.

Ternyata pasti ada yang Mendengar,

Ternyata semua dalam TulisanNya,

nun jauh di tempat Mulia,

kisah hidup suka dan duka,

jawapan semua soalan pernah ditanya.

Sampai detik tibanya waktu,

disampaikan pesan buat manusia yang alpa,

berita gembira mencipta bahagia,

segala urusan berasal dariNya,

bukti kembali semua kepadaNya.

Urusan hamba di Tangan Tuan,

suluh telah pun hamba temukan,

andai ini hajatnya Tuan,

kecil tapak tangan, nyiru hamba tadahkan.

Saat ini saat pembuktian,

Tanda cinta pada Yang Menciptakan,

Dua hati seluruh jiwa,

di setiap nafas akan diperjuangkan, 

dalam rasa yang sentiasa,

mengintai-intai rahsia kasihNya.