Thursday, 30 May 2013

Surrender before You Begin

Ba is for Bismillahirrahmaanirraheem
and B for Buttons that do not function during summer ;)

Today I am going to write about something that has changed in my life. I'm going to share an experience that I had almost six years ago while I was in the First Year of Medical School.

It was the first day of school, and I remember being so excited!
 I gathered my books and stationary all ready to delve into the madness of becoming a medical student.
 However to my surprise, the first lecture we had was being taught in an arabic medium. 
and so were the other following lectures. 
My excitement turned into slight disappointment.

I mean, regardless of any course you are taking, you will definitely face difficulties in understanding them if they were taught in a foreign language.
 Especially if the language was far beyond the formal teachings you learnt in school due to its modification to its locality, the accents, slang and all.
So at that point, I remember coming home, understanding only 10 % of the lecture 
and then had to drill my brain studying more and more. It was tough.
 But I got through it with a Beautiful Help from ALLAH.

It was an Aya in Suratul Baqarah that I routinely recite before class. However only at that point that it touched me.

This was the miracle

 قَالُواْ سُبۡحَـٰنَكَ لَا عِلۡمَ لَنَآ إِلَّا مَا عَلَّمۡتَنَآ‌ۖ إِنَّكَ أَنتَ ٱلۡعَلِيمُ ٱلۡحَكِيمُ

They said: Be glorified! We have no knowledge saving that which Thou hast taught us. Lo! Thou, only Thou, art the Knower, the Wise. (32)

I remember reciting it with all my heart at the beginning of  every lecture and I still do.
Everytime I do it, I always feel so small, so tiny, so humble.
It is because that, I know that whatever I am going to learn in that session is going to be bizzarre information
 that sometimes even my brain cannot contain it.
 I feel like everything is too complicated for me. 
So THAT is when I submit and glorify ALLAH. 
It is because, everything that is about to be taught is known to Him.
 as He is The Creator to all the knowledge, may they be simple, or overwhelmingly complicated.

So I surrender.
I surrender even before I listen to the first word from the lecturer.
I surrender even though I know it's the simplest thing ever.
I surrender even before I become too sleepy due to the lengthy discussions.
I surrender because I realize that no matter how easy or difficult the knowledge is.
 It is He who Has the Power to Bestow upon me understanding or otherwise.
 In that Class of 30, it is He who Selects
 the person whom He Wants to Grant Understanding upon
of either a certain topic or the whole subject.
 I mean, the lecture could be in English and Professor could be so interesting. But for all you know, you'd be sleepy or imagining lunch at that time. Hence, the statement above.
 Or it could be a complex biochemical reaction not only breaking your brains but also your heart! but you could be so alert that you'll remember them till the they you die.

So, I practise this dua everyday. 
It is very short, but everytime I recite it, my heart says,

"Right now I'm zero and helpless.
 Please grant me understanding of this knowledge by the Greatness of Your Power. 
Because You are The Creator, I ask to understand the whole lecture.
 But it is also within Your Power to Save some information to keep my wanting for more. 
After all they're all Yours
 and I surrender."

So the thing that changed in my life that I mentioned earlier, is the way I view knowledge.
It has made my studies less stressful and enjoyable.
Every lesson is a lesson not only between me and my teacher,
but also a very formal one between me and my Creator.

Muhammad Mashary Zidane uttered his first 'ba' letter a few days ago just before Maghrib.
and a few more times for his Walid after Maghrib,
Today, he refused to do so, maybe we should move on to 'ma' 
anyways, Good Job Baby!
 wa 'ala kulli haaalin,

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