|(melting) Homemade Choco-vanilla Ice Cream Cake just for my boy.|
It's amazing somehow to have completed the video I made in this rainy day, I mean it's not 2nd of SeptembeR today but I'm glad we're still in the month of September. This post has obviously gone overdue, however I'm really happy that I have been given the time to compile the photos and turn it into a video so that the memories if my two year old boy shall remain insyaALLAH.
I'm not going to lie, it's been tough bringing up a toddler without my other half. Since Walid has always been a superdad and sometimes a supermom too, I'll have to admit that this temporary separation has caught me off guards! But Alhamdulillah, our family members have always been extremely supportive in raising my little angel, Muhammad Mashary Zidane.
Dear Mashary, This post is supposed to be about your birthday, I though it'd be nice if I could document some lifestyle moments of me and you, you know, doing all the daily familiar things together. Just you and me. You're going to grow up probably not remembering any of them but I want you to know that I treasure every moment I spend with you.. I'm grateful that these past 2 years, I managed and succeeded at being the mom that I've always wanted to be. The singing mom, the dancing mom, the reading mom, the one who teaches you the Quran, the one who always gives her all to cherish all that you are. Alhamdulillah these 2 years have been nothing but amazing watching you grow into a very smart, handsome boy.
However, my dear, You should know that I have another responsibility that I have to fulfill, and that is to be of service to the ummah. I have been contemplating a lot a lot on whether I really should put myself out there in service to the people while you learn to become independent or should I just continue to become a full time mom. But I talked to ALLAH SWT yesterday, you know just babbling about what is there to come in the future, how will you adapt to not having ummi around, how will I adapt the sleepless days and nights, and surprisingly ALLAH SWT Answered my doubts and worries with Ayah41 in Surah Attaubah.
My dearest Mashary, things are going to be different soon, you will not see me all the time like you always do now. Someone else will feed you, someone else will be tucking you into bed, I hope someone else will dance and sing and read for you too. Please know that with every step of the way, I will be praying that ALLAH SWT Will always Shower you with His Blessings, His Love and Mercy. and that you will find love in so many different ways now, not only from your ummi. and that will be amazing right?
What Ummi and Walid are doing are merely sacrifices that we humans are bound to do. we are here in this world to prove to ALLAH SWT that we are His Servant and we only live by His Mercy. and at such a young age, Mashary, you too are sacrificing for the sake of ALLAH. I can only pray that He Accepts our sacrifice and Bless us with His Love and Save us from the hellfire. After all, our ultimate place to be happy and safe will be in The Beautiful Gardens of Jannah one day insyaALLAH.
Mashary, please know that Ummi and Walid love you so very much, and everything that's happening is only the best for us. I don't expect you to understand, but I believe that ALLAH will Comfort you through this journey. I also hope that sacrifice will only strengthen our bond and love for each other as we are doing all this only for the sake of ALLAH, THE ONE, THE CREATOR, THE MOST LOVING, and most importantly THE ONE WHO GAVE UMMI AND WALID THEIR BELOVED SON, THE ONE WHO GAVE YOU YOUR UMMI AND WALID.
So, let's be thankful and give this a little try, You're a strong boy Mashary, you'll get through this easier than I will. It's okay. If you ever need me just ask ALLAH, He Will Surely arrange wonderful times ahead for our little family, insyaALLAH.
YOU ARE TWO MASHARY.
YOU SHALL BE PATIENT, STRONG, SMART, LOVING, AND HUMBLE.
AMEEN YA SOBUR, YA QAWIYY, YA RASHEED, YA RAHMAN, YA KABEER,
YA ALLAHU AKBAR!