I am still able to breath the air in, still able to consume food and drinks , still able to get enough sleep, still able to accompany my hubby, still able to read and gain knowledge..oh I just realised that this list goes on and on..mashaALLAH..
in this hardest time..I could still write a list of things I'm thankful for..including moving to our new apartment..soon..:) Alhamdulillah...
Lately I've been worrying a lot!
Hubby's Final Exams,
My own studies and exams,
with anemia and fainting spells,
missed tuition classes and unsatisfactory attendances in class.
and currently
am having Placenta Praevia Type 2..
to travel back to malaysia or not..
Last few days have been very hectic as we were forced to make decisions despite my need to completely rest in bed..
and I realised how weak I was, how weak we humans are, as we do not even have the strength to decide..I remember just putting my hands up for dua and just 'feeling' the Presence and Greatness of ALLAH.
and reading the Quran just for the sake of submitting, and not gaining anything more than just to feel the submission..
For only that made me feel better..
Alhamdulillah with the help of Hubby and my parents, also The OBGYN Specialists, we were able to come to a decision. However even that decision is doubtful.
and to have so many doubts coming..one after another.. I decided and vowed to just stop worrying and just to recite the happy verse loudly or silently,
"Hasbunallah wa ni'mal wakeel, ni'mal maula wa ni'mannaseer"
For I am unable to for see the future,
I am not capable to predict anything,
I will stop worrying cause I am only Human,
and I submit everything only to You,
because I so know that everything is written,
and everything is for the better, the best!
Just let me know that You are near,
and allow me to feel that everything is under control,
I shall not worry,
and I will be happy.
May the rainbows reveal themselves soon,insyaALLAH..
Ummi, baby and daddy are reciting this ' happy verse',
what about you?
isk..TT
ReplyDeletei'm just another friend that also has been worrying a lot about you before huhu..especially dekat part Previa tu..almost everytime when we were about to sleep, i'll mumble to hubby,"yaAllah, mcmmanelah tasnim n aiman skg ye..permudahkan permudahkan permudahkan dorg.."
just feel so pathetic that we could do nothing much except than doa and a little phone calls to hear that u're okay..really, our study sometimes distract us too much from the loved ones including anak2..that's somehow what i feel not right about studying medicine =P
After all,now at least for me Mashary Zidane is one of your greatest rainbow after the non-stop heavy rain that pour upon u both...
Alhamdulillah =)
Take care ummi tasnim!
:) no wonder things got a lot easier for us.. berkat doa kak shida malam2 ya..Alhamdulillah..thanks kak shida..really miss u and your little babies...
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