Adam is 10!!

Bismillah Walhamdulillah.. <3

It seems that my little (baby) Brother, Muhammad Adam Daniel has turned 10 on the 27th of December..really wish I could be with him to celebrate his big 10! hehe..but it's okay..he looks happy enuff without me..:)

However, I thought I should dedicate this post to him..:)
Not because I love him more that any of my siblings, (I am very sure about this) becuase if they get into fights, I get into various sides. not only Adam's.. hehe..

But I think this entry goes to him because, I am a bit older that I can recall the moments of him growing up :)

so here goes...

I still remember those times,

When Kakak and I would ask Mama desperately,

pestering Papa of how much we wanted,

 another little baby,to join our family,

and then how mama's face would look so tired,

to repeatedly  give a one and only answer,

"PRAY".

Ask from ALLAH. :)

I still remember how I doubted my prayers,

But I did pray anyway,

so that ALLAH Would Kindly Give us,

another bundle of joy.

I still remember that night,

Mama and Papa brought home a film,

a picture of an embryo,

I remember how frightened I was,

when papa said,

look, what is that picture is that?

It looked so formal that I thought mama was sick,

but then mama said,

it's a baby.

I still remember how we all shouted,

of pure joy,and gratefulness,

so ALLAH Was Listening afterall!

I still remember how the family was so worried,

about how the baby's gonna turn out,

I'm very sure Mama had a very hard time,

deciding to keep the baby.

I still remember how we payed a visit to the Great Kaabah,

and I would not miss praying for your safety,

so that you would come out a normal healthy baby,

Let the baby be normal.

that was kind of it.

I still remember the moment we found out you were a boy,

we started scrambling through the pages of baby's names.

I would accompany Mama shopping at Mom's care or Mothercare,

How we eagerly waited for your arrival,

anxiously happy.

I still remember that day Mama was admitted to the hospital,

I would stand close to the phone waiting for Papa to call,

how Mama was in pain that Papa asked us to pray,

and then another phone call,

saying that the baby has arrived,

and he was perfectly healthy.

I still remember that time when I thanked Allah so much,

and I thought,

wow, another prayer answered!

Alhamdulillah.

I still remember how excited the family was,

though there were struggles,

mostly Mama and Papa had to go through,

taking care of your asthma,

through nights and days.

I still remember the day we registered you,

into your kindergarten,

watching you perform in your school concerts,

watching you grow,

and speak english so fluently,

how smart you are,

and how talkative you are..

And now it's been 10 years of a great journey,

we have travelled together with the boy,

a blessing from ALLAH,

who always makes us smile,

(when he's not naughty)

the one who's most kissed, most hugged,

who clears our minds,

whenever problems interfere,

with that cute little voice,

speaking so wisely as if he is older,

waking up very early,

and waking everyone up,

reminding how exciting life is.

So you're all grown up,

you're 10 years old!

We still clearly see you as our cute little baby brother,

my baby buuubuu,

your birth was a blessing to our family,

because of you,

the family keep its peace,

and learn lessons of life,

though sometimes we fall, we know,

there is still a little cute voice that would entertain us.

there is always that little (now taller) boy that I could run to and hug,

and chase around just to kiss him.

Oh Adam,

How much of a blessing you are,

Please stay cute and fun!

But Allah Created you to grow,

And if you must grow,

please grow wiser and smarter,

please grow handsome,

please remember to always be our reminder,

of how much Allah Loves us,

please amaze us with your continuous stories,

please grow stronger inside and out,

Please grow to be a hero of the ummah,

Please grow to be the best of Allah's servants,

insyaALLAH.

Thank you Allah, for a brother, a baby to the family, an entertainer, and a reminder, a holder of our homes, for whenever we are sad, or even when we cry, he is surely to make us smile again. Please make this blessing eternal, till the end of time and till Jannah. 

ameen.

Happy 10th Birthday, Muhammad Adam Daniel b Md Rosli.

We love you..

so so much.

Sebelum Cahaya..

Bismillahirrahmaanirraheem,

It was back then, during those time I just finished high school that I heard to this song on the radio. It was on this serene night, and I was emotionally connected to it!

Yesterday, as I was choosing to have a background wave in this small apartment, I decided to choose to listen to the song again, and it was nostalgic..

Once again the lyrics, brought me to a state of numbness.. :)

I have no idea how the writer really meant while writing this song, but the first time I heard this song, I interpreted it as this..

Ku teringat, hati, 

Yang bertabur, mimpi, 

Kemana kau pergi, cinta

Perjalanan sunyi, 

Yang kau tempuh sendiri, 

Kuatkanlah hati, cinta

I imagined as if someone finds me feeling so lonely 

and asks me where have I been that I have strayed, 

and tells me to be strong,

 and calls me Cinta. showing how I am being loved...

[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/l/letto/sebelum_cahaya.html ]

[Chorus:]

Ingatkan engkau kepada, 

Embun pagi bersahaja, 

Yang menemani mu, 

Sebelum cahaya

Ingatkan engkau kepada, 

Angin yang berhembus mesra, 

Yang 'kan membelai mu, cinta

Two interpretations for this verse.

1st 

He then reminds me of the morning dew that comes earlier in the day while I am waiting for the sun, also the soft wind that blows thru my hair- somehow He is telling me that I am not alone, there are many other things that are keeping me company..only they are too subtle, that I always overlook. thus, this reminder.

2nd

 Is only directed to this line "Yang Menemanimu Sebelum Cahaya". This line reminds me of the 9 months I spent in my mother's womb, so so dark without any light, If I were to be there right now, I would have been terrified in the darkness, But there was always company, that was with me thruout the 9 months, before it was my time to be born, to see the light.

SubhanALLAH, for it is of ALLAH'S Wisdom that He was there with me, accompaying thru the darkness,making sure I was not scared, in His very own special way.. before i even knew what the light was..

SubhanALLAH, for it is of ALLAH'S Mercy that He has created the subtle morning dew, or the soft soft wind that holds me thruout my loneliness if I ever felt down and low during this journey, for He has Created my family and friends, my teachers and students, my comfortable life, ..just to be patient waiting for the sun to rise, just as sure as it will, despite of me always being sceptical about  it.

Kekuatan hati, 

Yang berpegang janji, 

Genggamlah tangan ku, cinta

Ku tak akan pergi, 

Meninggalkan mu sendiri, 

Temani hati mu cinta

And then here, I imagined how He is saying, to hold on tight to His Religion, And He is the One who will never leave me alone, always there, always here, right beside my heart,taking care of it, or rather, just within it...

I enjoy this song a lot, because somehow the chorus is repeated over and over and over again, as if, it is really to remind me of how close He is..of how much He Knows how hard life is, but how He Has sent so many good things and blessings to show His Presence and His Love in my life.

Forgive me when I forget, Oh Forgive me when I whine.. 

If you seem to be reading this blog.. :)

Assalamualaikum and BIG Welcome 

to anyone who has accidentally found this blog!!

I haven't been really expecting any readers, since this blog is sooo simple, and the contents are just mere ramblings of myself..it is a bit embarrassing to have readers..hehe.

Well actually at first I wanted to share this page with anyone around the world, so that I could continue to share my life experience as I find it realy helpful to read the stories of others may they be inspirational or not, just to know that I am not alone in the world. I think blog readers get my point..hehe..

However, since many things came up lately, I decided not to invite the public to view this blog unless!! you accidentally found it..so I consider that to be.fate? a little thing or two in this blog might be helpful to you..

This blog was then decided to be dedicated to my children. So they could travel back in time to witness their parents' moments. If they get bored, hopefuly they will find beneficial advice if not guidance to them later..insyaALLAH.

So just in case, ALLAH Has Selected you to view this very naive writings, please do enjoy..I hope you'll get something from here. I really hope it'll be a blessing rather than another thing that bores you.hehe..

AHLAN WASAHLAN!

Please enjoy and I appologise for any inappropriate details mentioned in any of my entries.

may ALLAH BLESS!!!

a moment separated..

Bismillah..:)

So last night it was the Real Madrid vs Barcelona's big game.
Note that Hubby is an exceptional soccer player..but he's not a huge fan of watching games..which is a very good thing, since we won't always be fighting for the remote ( we dont even have one to begin with..) anywys, you kinda get the point.. but last night was a big game..how big, i have no idea bcause I am not a fan of not just soccer or football, but sports in a whole..but i knew it was a big game since everyone was talking about it..

So, I decided to let Hubby watch the game, however the game starts at 11pm! Though he wasn't making a big deal of wanting to watch it so badly, I somehow felt bad and I thought I should let him watch, perhaps we could use this given time to catch up with our long lost friends...haha..

So off I went to the HK'S ! beit HusnulKhotimah..oh what a name, ameen to that Ya Rabb..

I enjoyed our evening studying and watching a series, and chit chatting, until it was bedtime..

I was missing my hubby so very much I thought I could cry...I gave him a call and we wished each other salam, then I went to bed..

Of COURSE I couldnt sleep!!!

till about 2 am plus?

Then I was too tired struggling with my p***** pain.hehe..dozed off anyways..:)

I havent heard the other side of the story..I bet hubby had a great time..but I'm sure he missed me too..

Can't wait to see him soon..
Thanks Allah for this sense of belonging you grant upon us.

Alhamdulillah for a Hubby I'm able to love, to care for, to hug tightly, to cry with, and to miss upon..

I vow to do better as a wife. May He love me as much as I love him. (or maybe more..hehe)

Warmth

Warmth is having a hot chocolate with a bestfriend,
Warmth is cuddling up in a thick double layered balnket,
Warmth is listening to raindrops while reading a good book,
Warmth is with the color of brown or maybe dark brick-red,
Warmth is having dinner with close relatives,
Warmth is sharing your biscuits with those around you in lectures,
Warmth is hugging your loved-ones so tightly and never let go,
Warmth is by loading up a backseat of a taxi with four of your size during a cold day,
Warmth is by listening to your parents' voices thru the telephone,
Warmth is smiling while you are sleeping,
Warmth is when you pray, all covered up, and focused to ask for mercy and forgiveness,
Warmth is when your heart smiles thru all the hiccups of life,
Warmth is when you are held deep in His Love,
vsualising His Love in everything you see,
not just the heater, but even in the freezing water,
that will purify your soul, and you shall be warm in the midst of praising,
The Creator of Warmth.

mujaahadah for wudhu' during winter nights (and days!). Allah yusahhil!!!

a new day has come!

Alhamdulillah,
waking up to the song "waiting for the call" by Irfan Makki, is just refreshing..
though ive been sleeping for almost 3 full days. Today I feel a bit better, probably because of the effect of the meds.

Feeling so weak and soo cold with pain and tenderness all over makes the blanket feel soo warm and soo inviting to sail me through my dreams away from the lies of the reality.

Though today i woke up shocked by a nightmare and sweating all over..Pain seems to grow more and more, making me feel heavier like ive gained 1000 pounds.

But maybe this is the rest that i wanted so much after a period of the rocky rocky road..
I feel closer to Him when I pray in this weak body. finally admitting that I am none other than just His tiny servant. only His Creation whom at anytime can He Take Back the ni'mah of health. or at anytime can He Call Back to return to Him.

But somehow today, after listening to this wonderful song by Irfan Makki, I feel refreshed! and maybe it's time to commence my journey of my Mujaahadah in the field of medicine, and also in the field of being a solehah wife and daughter. insyaALLAH..

wake up! It's dayligt!
let be gone the nightmares of last night's sleep,
let be gone the sadness of yesterdays,
Bismillah,
let's start a new day!
(tho asr is approaching..hehe)
a new day has come.
Alhamdulillah