Adam is 10!!

Bismillah Walhamdulillah.. <3

It seems that my little (baby) Brother, Muhammad Adam Daniel has turned 10 on the 27th of December..really wish I could be with him to celebrate his big 10! hehe..but it's okay..he looks happy enuff without me..:)

However, I thought I should dedicate this post to him..:)
Not because I love him more that any of my siblings, (I am very sure about this) becuase if they get into fights, I get into various sides. not only Adam's.. hehe..

But I think this entry goes to him because, I am a bit older that I can recall the moments of him growing up :)

so here goes...

I still remember those times,

When Kakak and I would ask Mama desperately,

pestering Papa of how much we wanted,

 another little baby,to join our family,

and then how mama's face would look so tired,

to repeatedly  give a one and only answer,

"PRAY".

Ask from ALLAH. :)

I still remember how I doubted my prayers,

But I did pray anyway,

so that ALLAH Would Kindly Give us,

another bundle of joy.

I still remember that night,

Mama and Papa brought home a film,

a picture of an embryo,

I remember how frightened I was,

when papa said,

look, what is that picture is that?

It looked so formal that I thought mama was sick,

but then mama said,

it's a baby.

I still remember how we all shouted,

of pure joy,and gratefulness,

so ALLAH Was Listening afterall!

I still remember how the family was so worried,

about how the baby's gonna turn out,

I'm very sure Mama had a very hard time,

deciding to keep the baby.

I still remember how we payed a visit to the Great Kaabah,

and I would not miss praying for your safety,

so that you would come out a normal healthy baby,

Let the baby be normal.

that was kind of it.

I still remember the moment we found out you were a boy,

we started scrambling through the pages of baby's names.

I would accompany Mama shopping at Mom's care or Mothercare,

How we eagerly waited for your arrival,

anxiously happy.

I still remember that day Mama was admitted to the hospital,

I would stand close to the phone waiting for Papa to call,

how Mama was in pain that Papa asked us to pray,

and then another phone call,

saying that the baby has arrived,

and he was perfectly healthy.

I still remember that time when I thanked Allah so much,

and I thought,

wow, another prayer answered!

Alhamdulillah.

I still remember how excited the family was,

though there were struggles,

mostly Mama and Papa had to go through,

taking care of your asthma,

through nights and days.

I still remember the day we registered you,

into your kindergarten,

watching you perform in your school concerts,

watching you grow,

and speak english so fluently,

how smart you are,

and how talkative you are..

And now it's been 10 years of a great journey,

we have travelled together with the boy,

a blessing from ALLAH,

who always makes us smile,

(when he's not naughty)

the one who's most kissed, most hugged,

who clears our minds,

whenever problems interfere,

with that cute little voice,

speaking so wisely as if he is older,

waking up very early,

and waking everyone up,

reminding how exciting life is.

So you're all grown up,

you're 10 years old!

We still clearly see you as our cute little baby brother,

my baby buuubuu,

your birth was a blessing to our family,

because of you,

the family keep its peace,

and learn lessons of life,

though sometimes we fall, we know,

there is still a little cute voice that would entertain us.

there is always that little (now taller) boy that I could run to and hug,

and chase around just to kiss him.

Oh Adam,

How much of a blessing you are,

Please stay cute and fun!

But Allah Created you to grow,

And if you must grow,

please grow wiser and smarter,

please grow handsome,

please remember to always be our reminder,

of how much Allah Loves us,

please amaze us with your continuous stories,

please grow stronger inside and out,

Please grow to be a hero of the ummah,

Please grow to be the best of Allah's servants,

insyaALLAH.

Thank you Allah, for a brother, a baby to the family, an entertainer, and a reminder, a holder of our homes, for whenever we are sad, or even when we cry, he is surely to make us smile again. Please make this blessing eternal, till the end of time and till Jannah. 

ameen.

Happy 10th Birthday, Muhammad Adam Daniel b Md Rosli.

We love you..

so so much.

Sebelum Cahaya..

Bismillahirrahmaanirraheem,

It was back then, during those time I just finished high school that I heard to this song on the radio. It was on this serene night, and I was emotionally connected to it!

Yesterday, as I was choosing to have a background wave in this small apartment, I decided to choose to listen to the song again, and it was nostalgic..

Once again the lyrics, brought me to a state of numbness.. :)

I have no idea how the writer really meant while writing this song, but the first time I heard this song, I interpreted it as this..

Ku teringat, hati, 

Yang bertabur, mimpi, 

Kemana kau pergi, cinta

Perjalanan sunyi, 

Yang kau tempuh sendiri, 

Kuatkanlah hati, cinta

I imagined as if someone finds me feeling so lonely 

and asks me where have I been that I have strayed, 

and tells me to be strong,

 and calls me Cinta. showing how I am being loved...

[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/l/letto/sebelum_cahaya.html ]

[Chorus:]

Ingatkan engkau kepada, 

Embun pagi bersahaja, 

Yang menemani mu, 

Sebelum cahaya

Ingatkan engkau kepada, 

Angin yang berhembus mesra, 

Yang 'kan membelai mu, cinta

Two interpretations for this verse.

1st 

He then reminds me of the morning dew that comes earlier in the day while I am waiting for the sun, also the soft wind that blows thru my hair- somehow He is telling me that I am not alone, there are many other things that are keeping me company..only they are too subtle, that I always overlook. thus, this reminder.

2nd

 Is only directed to this line "Yang Menemanimu Sebelum Cahaya". This line reminds me of the 9 months I spent in my mother's womb, so so dark without any light, If I were to be there right now, I would have been terrified in the darkness, But there was always company, that was with me thruout the 9 months, before it was my time to be born, to see the light.

SubhanALLAH, for it is of ALLAH'S Wisdom that He was there with me, accompaying thru the darkness,making sure I was not scared, in His very own special way.. before i even knew what the light was..

SubhanALLAH, for it is of ALLAH'S Mercy that He has created the subtle morning dew, or the soft soft wind that holds me thruout my loneliness if I ever felt down and low during this journey, for He has Created my family and friends, my teachers and students, my comfortable life, ..just to be patient waiting for the sun to rise, just as sure as it will, despite of me always being sceptical about  it.

Kekuatan hati, 

Yang berpegang janji, 

Genggamlah tangan ku, cinta

Ku tak akan pergi, 

Meninggalkan mu sendiri, 

Temani hati mu cinta

And then here, I imagined how He is saying, to hold on tight to His Religion, And He is the One who will never leave me alone, always there, always here, right beside my heart,taking care of it, or rather, just within it...

I enjoy this song a lot, because somehow the chorus is repeated over and over and over again, as if, it is really to remind me of how close He is..of how much He Knows how hard life is, but how He Has sent so many good things and blessings to show His Presence and His Love in my life.

Forgive me when I forget, Oh Forgive me when I whine.. 

If you seem to be reading this blog.. :)

Assalamualaikum and BIG Welcome 

to anyone who has accidentally found this blog!!

I haven't been really expecting any readers, since this blog is sooo simple, and the contents are just mere ramblings of myself..it is a bit embarrassing to have readers..hehe.

Well actually at first I wanted to share this page with anyone around the world, so that I could continue to share my life experience as I find it realy helpful to read the stories of others may they be inspirational or not, just to know that I am not alone in the world. I think blog readers get my point..hehe..

However, since many things came up lately, I decided not to invite the public to view this blog unless!! you accidentally found it..so I consider that to be.fate? a little thing or two in this blog might be helpful to you..

This blog was then decided to be dedicated to my children. So they could travel back in time to witness their parents' moments. If they get bored, hopefuly they will find beneficial advice if not guidance to them later..insyaALLAH.

So just in case, ALLAH Has Selected you to view this very naive writings, please do enjoy..I hope you'll get something from here. I really hope it'll be a blessing rather than another thing that bores you.hehe..

AHLAN WASAHLAN!

Please enjoy and I appologise for any inappropriate details mentioned in any of my entries.

may ALLAH BLESS!!!

a moment separated..

Bismillah..:)

So last night it was the Real Madrid vs Barcelona's big game.
Note that Hubby is an exceptional soccer player..but he's not a huge fan of watching games..which is a very good thing, since we won't always be fighting for the remote ( we dont even have one to begin with..) anywys, you kinda get the point.. but last night was a big game..how big, i have no idea bcause I am not a fan of not just soccer or football, but sports in a whole..but i knew it was a big game since everyone was talking about it..

So, I decided to let Hubby watch the game, however the game starts at 11pm! Though he wasn't making a big deal of wanting to watch it so badly, I somehow felt bad and I thought I should let him watch, perhaps we could use this given time to catch up with our long lost friends...haha..

So off I went to the HK'S ! beit HusnulKhotimah..oh what a name, ameen to that Ya Rabb..

I enjoyed our evening studying and watching a series, and chit chatting, until it was bedtime..

I was missing my hubby so very much I thought I could cry...I gave him a call and we wished each other salam, then I went to bed..

Of COURSE I couldnt sleep!!!

till about 2 am plus?

Then I was too tired struggling with my p***** pain.hehe..dozed off anyways..:)

I havent heard the other side of the story..I bet hubby had a great time..but I'm sure he missed me too..

Can't wait to see him soon..
Thanks Allah for this sense of belonging you grant upon us.

Alhamdulillah for a Hubby I'm able to love, to care for, to hug tightly, to cry with, and to miss upon..

I vow to do better as a wife. May He love me as much as I love him. (or maybe more..hehe)

Warmth

Warmth is having a hot chocolate with a bestfriend,
Warmth is cuddling up in a thick double layered balnket,
Warmth is listening to raindrops while reading a good book,
Warmth is with the color of brown or maybe dark brick-red,
Warmth is having dinner with close relatives,
Warmth is sharing your biscuits with those around you in lectures,
Warmth is hugging your loved-ones so tightly and never let go,
Warmth is by loading up a backseat of a taxi with four of your size during a cold day,
Warmth is by listening to your parents' voices thru the telephone,
Warmth is smiling while you are sleeping,
Warmth is when you pray, all covered up, and focused to ask for mercy and forgiveness,
Warmth is when your heart smiles thru all the hiccups of life,
Warmth is when you are held deep in His Love,
vsualising His Love in everything you see,
not just the heater, but even in the freezing water,
that will purify your soul, and you shall be warm in the midst of praising,
The Creator of Warmth.

mujaahadah for wudhu' during winter nights (and days!). Allah yusahhil!!!

a new day has come!

Alhamdulillah,
waking up to the song "waiting for the call" by Irfan Makki, is just refreshing..
though ive been sleeping for almost 3 full days. Today I feel a bit better, probably because of the effect of the meds.

Feeling so weak and soo cold with pain and tenderness all over makes the blanket feel soo warm and soo inviting to sail me through my dreams away from the lies of the reality.

Though today i woke up shocked by a nightmare and sweating all over..Pain seems to grow more and more, making me feel heavier like ive gained 1000 pounds.

But maybe this is the rest that i wanted so much after a period of the rocky rocky road..
I feel closer to Him when I pray in this weak body. finally admitting that I am none other than just His tiny servant. only His Creation whom at anytime can He Take Back the ni'mah of health. or at anytime can He Call Back to return to Him.

But somehow today, after listening to this wonderful song by Irfan Makki, I feel refreshed! and maybe it's time to commence my journey of my Mujaahadah in the field of medicine, and also in the field of being a solehah wife and daughter. insyaALLAH..

wake up! It's dayligt!
let be gone the nightmares of last night's sleep,
let be gone the sadness of yesterdays,
Bismillah,
let's start a new day!
(tho asr is approaching..hehe)
a new day has come.
Alhamdulillah

Planning!

Bismillahirrahmaanirraheem.

so far my plans seem to be totally haywire.
I really need to take some time to seek advice,
and perform loads of istikharah!

May I be strong enough.
to organize,
to plan,
to follow the plans.
insyaALLAH.

My very first baby. is back where it belongs.

This is Adam, one of the cutest baby I've ever seen.

Dear Allah,

Firstly I'd like to thank You for all Your blessings of giving me a wonderful husband, whom I enjoy getting to know more and more everyday. Getting to know him has made me gain new experiences, with new dreams, new goals to achieve, may it be personally or something we both share together.

Thank You also for giving me the chance to be pregnant even for very few days. It has changed me as a person and the way I look into the world now, especially into the eyes of the mothers.

I have had the chance to feel the love of a mother to her child and it was amazing. For those few days I have felt very nervous as i thought that a huge responsibility has been assigned to me. Every day I want to become a better person, and every move I make sure is a good influence and according to the Sunnah.I was just  uplifted by the joy of being able to conceive.

Despite all the joy that I have, I felt very nervous as the age of the baby was going to reach the 6th week, when the baby gets its Ruh and heartbeat. This was a great and grand event and I considered it unworldly cause it was only going to take a miracle for things like that to happen. and only You my ALLAH, is the Master of all miracles. I was praying hard that the miracle would overwhelm me in a good way.

But things didn't get that far. I'm sorry that during all the pain I was thinking too much of myself mostly. I became confused of what to pray for. I wanted this baby but it is You isn't it who Makes the choice? In the end I prayed for the best. It was really hard to see that my progress was not for the better. It was sad to see how spirited my husband was eventhough I knew it has came to the end.

But I still thank You, for those few days you have made our marriage stronger. We have both grown closer to each other thru the struggles. Perhaps this is the gift behind the pain that we had. That we could both look into each other's eyes and thank You for giving us the gift of companionship.and I still thank You for giving me a surprise of ability to do good in the exam. I remember standing still at the 4th station thanking you, still feeling that it was unbelievable that my paper was not empty.

and most of all I thank you, that you gave me such a wonderful experience. I now understand how a mother feels of her babies. ok maybe only 2 % of it. but as people around me told me "Probably the next one would be better" I said to myself, "If that baby was mine, there's no way the second is any better than this one.My baby is perfect, whether he makes it out or not." And thus I understand there is no preference in the love of a mother to their children. They're all the same, all of them equally perfect. :)

I realised a mother's love was really overwhelming. Credits to my mother.and my mother's mother. and my father's mother, and my husband's mother, and to all the mothers in the world. Oh you are soo blessed. so blessed with so much love, uncontainable love. unconditional love, great , huge, grand grand love.

Credits to the ArRahmaan. The source of all the love in the world , even those unworldly ones.

"Bayangkan kasih sayang seorang ibu dan kalikan dengan seribu. atau kalikan dengan sejuta, atau pun lebih dari itu.Itu pun belum boleh menggambarkan Kasih Sayang ALLAH."




Oh Allah. Allah. Allah!

I thank You and I love You.

Please Love me back. and my husband too, and my family and friends too, and my future babies too(if You Will)

Gather us in Your Love together with ArRasul Al Ameen, Nabiyyu SAW.

Ameen ya Rabb.

Married with Alhamdulillah !

10.09.11

after almost 2 years of engagement,

this beautiful day came to approach,

and it was pure bliss.

Many thanks to our family members and close friends.

Countless Tasbeeh and Tahmeed to the Almighty ALLAHU AKBAR!

Amazingly AMAZING.

Bismillahirrahmaanirraheem...

What a beautiful Ramadhan morning as I was very busy doing my  wedding preparations calling up everybody, texting everyone, i decided to take a break watching something on halaltube.com.

MasyaALLAH SubhanALLAH,

As i watched this video by Hafidh Wisam Sharieff, I cudnt stop crying..it was shocking in a way but amazingly beautiful..

I got emotional watching this video coz of course I was in the 'been there, done that' mode..I never wna go astray again, coz as this lecture says, difficulties and obstacles will come your way..and honestly I have felt all those difficulties and obstacles..Astaghfirullah..

However, I'm confident that this lecture will touch the hearts of all muslims. because as we fast and pray everyday, we always long to know who we're doing these for.. so this lecture helps us get to know ALLAH, our creator more and more.

Enjoy!!

Oh ALLAH, Please please please make us the seeing ones on the the day of judgement!!
ameen, ameen, ya Rabb al-'aalameen.

Dreaming of Kofta with Yoghurt Sauce plus stir-fried potatoes.

Bismillah.

So, it's already the 25th Ramadhan..and this is my first attempt to enter and actually cook something in the kitchen..

It's been weeks since I was craving for koftas! The first time i ever ate this dish was when Esra', my landlord ( or landlady's) daughter made them. She had them send with orange colored rice with some veges.. they tasted awesome and i was ADDICTED.. I do not know what was the ingredient that was contributing to this addiction..but yeah..i was officially addicted to koftas..

I tried asking Esraa for the recipe, but it sounded pretty complicated, but ALHAMDULILLAH i found a Knorr Kofta Mix!!! in the nearby shop in Mansoura..I bought 5 packets of em and I will now try to make my own koftasssss..hope they taste good and are able to cool down my addiction..haha..

The yoghurt sauce was suggested by Kak Jiji, the well-renowned cook in Mansoura. hehe..so I got the recipe and can't wait to taste it complimenting my Koftas~

Also the stir fried potatoes is to replace the orange colored rice. :)

'Asr is in 20 mins and then off to the kitchen for my kofta making experience!!
Bismillah!!

p/s: credits to Jidi Aman for buying me the yoghurt..thanks for making my kofta dream come trueee...

Bismillahirrahmaaniraheem :)

On this day, 

A Blessed Friday,

19th Ramadhan 1432 H,

19th August 2011,

 This Blog is created.

May it be beautifully designed,

with lots of happy stories,

many heartwarming reminders,

mind blowing information,

and most importantly 

may it be part of my little steps,

in this journey towards,

Jannatul Firdaus,

my only Dream Home.

Bismillahi Tawakkaltu 'alAllah, wala hawla wala quwwata illa billahil 'Aliyyil 'Adzhim.

and this journey begins...